1. |
||||
|
Cold damp air
grimy walls
and the fresh smell of chemicals
permeates the air
burning my nostrils
a sharp sting in my arms
lost in the streetlights
fumes of old cars
pollutes my lungs
memories of another life
nostalgia floods me
like a plague before I'm hit
by blinding lights of a speeding car
another opportunity missed
another attempt that passed
my love is so strong
but it's never enough
I always try my best
but I'm always abandoned
like these buildings I cross
shut down and vandalised
like what's left of my heart
like my wrists it bleeds
like my memory it hurts
maybe I was never meant to be loved?
another seizure avoided
as I'm passing more fluorescent lights
that leads to nowhere
police sirens are heard in the distance
maybe people are starting to worry?
no, they don't care enough to
it's funny
I can care so much
so much I'd walk endless miles in the rain
just to see someone I love for five minutes
but nobody cares at all for me
not my friends
not my family
no one...
|
||||
2. |
||||
|
I will never wake again
this time I'll make sure of it
pushing everyone away
I hope you'll understand
I never wished to bring you any pain
I only wished the best for you
but like always I had to cut you out
I had to push you away
like everyone else
you were my only light
my only source of hope
but in times of desperation
I couldn't find you
when I needed you the most
your empty words
your empty threats
no longer mean anything to me
I gave up long ago
would you still love me?
after I push you away
I'll cut you out
so it doesn't hurt
when it works
and with a blade reaching through me
I welcome only nihilism and death
I hope your god stays with you
for yours have abandoned me so long ago
|
||||
3. |
Giving up
10:06
|
|||
|
waves of depression
swarm me like black sombre clouds
of pestilence and blight
one which I cannot escape
unable to break free
from these chains
they bind me to this ground
I keep screaming for help
but with every breath that escapes
I drown deeper in a sea of all things
I try to avoid
why does it always happen?
I fell so far down this hole
now there's no way out
I keep finding myself giving up
no one will know
no one will notice
lining up the pills
it will likely fail me again
keys down my wrist
maybe this time I'll use a knife
maybe this time they'll notice
with endless rivers of crimson
flowing down my arms
caught by the rotting floorboards
giving up
everything is spinning
who will care when I'm dead?
maybe the police will break down the door
and refer me to a psychiatrist
who'll let me go; on the second session
because I ate that day
or maybe they won't
it's time to find out
I can't do this another day
I hope this time nobody comes to save me
|
||||
Shallow Existence UK
solo dsbm project
located in the uk EST 2022
If you like Shallow Existence, you may also like:
In advance of their November tour, catch up on the latest shredder from atmospheric black metal band Ghost Bath.
go to album
Everyone’s favorite cosmic black metal band returns, with a 16-minute opus that doubles down on industrial grind.
go to album
The new EP from atmospheric black metal masters Mesarthim finds them more triumphant and symphonic than ever.
go to album
Interstellar metal explorers Mesarthim return with a harrowing track that showcases their symphonic side.
go to album
Covenant of the Blackened Woodlands
by Ithilrå
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jan 19, 2024
go to album
In The Shadow Of The Lights
by Vanessa Funke / Luroga
featured on Bandcamp Radio Aug 18, 2023
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio Apr 28, 2023
go to album
